Week 2: Gridiron Gang
My birthday celebration started last week when my parents sent me a card a week early and dis-invited me from our family vacation.
“For Someone Special.” The front of the card showed a wooden gazebo bench, empty but for a bluebird and a basket of flowers, in a corner of lawn jungle-like with all variety of colorful flowers. Had Someone Special ever appeared on this card, he/she had long since left, possibly due to severe allergies.
‘Wishing you all the things that make your heart happiest. Happy Birthday’ was the pre-printed message, which was supplemented as follows:
“God gave us this gift
One of the best son’s of the world (sic)
Proud to be your parents and brother.”
It was “signed” by my brother (in Boston at the time the card was mailed), my parents, and my grandmother (in India at the time the card was mailed).
“Hey,” I said that night on the phone. “I got your card.”
“Happy Birthday!” greeted my mother.
“It’s next week. The 21st. Like you have in the card.”
“I know,” she said. “We got your card when we got your brother’s.” His birthday was in July. “It was just sitting on the kitchen table, and we wanted to send it before we forgot about it.” I waited as she and my father hotly debated whether to change the channel. “I’m working on my visa application for India,” she continued.
For months now, ever since our planned June trip got canceled because of an early monsoon season, we’ve been talking about taking a trip to India. What was originally just my mother visiting her mother became me and my mother and then me and my parents and then all three of us visiting more than just my mother’s mother. The problem with being from a foreign country is that whenever you go back, you inevitably spend your entire vacation in other people’s houses. This time, we were planning to take some extra days to travel around to some of India’s most famous sites so that I could take pictures.
“Oh, good. I need to request mine at some point.”
“We’re going in October.”
“Wait, what?” Ever since we decided to reschedule, the plan has always been for the three of us to go in January. “I can’t go in October. It’s short notice for me to get that much time off from work. And even if I could, that’s in the thick of race season.” Between them, October and November have the Twin Cities, Chicago, Marine Corps, New York, and Philadelphia marathons, as well as the Knickerbocker 60K. “There’s no way I could go in October.”
“Mm hmm.” She paused, almost out of politeness. “We’re going to go in October.”
Onto the game…
Despite the dominant performance of “Leg of God” K John Kasay last week (2-for-2), there were still doubters out there with questions about the rest of the team. Can it run an offense without WR Steve Smith? Can they put pressure on quarterbacks?
Those questions were answered with a resounding “Yes!” last Sunday by Super Bowl favorites, America’s Team, the Tar Heel Terror Squad, your CAROLINA PANTHERS, at the expense of the hapless Vikings! In front of a pasty crowd of Minnesotans, the most complete team in the NFL went to work with clockwork precision, trading field goals with the Vikes to trail 6-3 in the second. By Odin! The Vikings defense was tenacious? Approaching the half, what could our protagonists possibly do?
QB Jake Delhomme went to the sidelines. And dialed ‘H’…for Hero.
WR Keyshawn Johnson with an amazing catch and a 40-yard run! Like the hammer of Thor, Panthers pressing on offense! 3-yard run by rookie RB Deangelo “Brown Sugar” Williams for a TD! Panthers up 10-6!
You know how, occasionally in life, you and a colleague can miscommunicate? Take, for example, something as simple as Rosh Hashannah seder this past Friday. Friday afternoon, I was walking with one of our senior legal assistants, Greg, to happy hour.
“Pretty dead around here,” I noted. “One Jew holiday and this whole place clears out.”
“Yeah, a lot of people left this afternoon.”
“Why is that exactly?” I asked. I waved my keycard in front of the door and held it open for him.
“Thanks. I think they have to be indoors by sundown.”
We walked down the stairs to the café in silence.
“You’re thinking of vampires,” I said.
With the Panthers up 13-6 in the fourth, the wily John Fox went aggressive, calling for a trick play. On the kickoff reception, CB Chris Gamble was supposed to pitch it back to CB Richard Marshall, but an errant toss gave the Vikings favorable field position! Touchdown, Vikings!
In overtime, the Vikings kicked a field goal to win. But the real story of the game was the phenomenal play of DE Julius Peppers. With five (!) sacks and a blocked field goal, the Vikings had no answer for the Obsidian Dervish, and were lucky to leave the game without being beaten more badly than they were!
Next week: With the winner of Atlanta-New Orleans taking a 3-0 lead in the NFC South, the loser of the Carolina-Tampa Bay matchup is likely out of the playoffs this year. Last time they were down there, Panthers cheerleaders got drunk in a bar, punched a local in the face, had sex with each other in a bathroom stall, and ended up facing criminal charges. Not unlike this past week’s game, where the Panthers’ smashmouth style was undone by their screwing themselves over. Prediction? The NFL’s first-ever 100-point game!
Panthers 103, Tampa Bay 26
Until next time.
RROWRRRRRRRR!
“For Someone Special.” The front of the card showed a wooden gazebo bench, empty but for a bluebird and a basket of flowers, in a corner of lawn jungle-like with all variety of colorful flowers. Had Someone Special ever appeared on this card, he/she had long since left, possibly due to severe allergies.
‘Wishing you all the things that make your heart happiest. Happy Birthday’ was the pre-printed message, which was supplemented as follows:
“God gave us this gift
One of the best son’s of the world (sic)
Proud to be your parents and brother.”
It was “signed” by my brother (in Boston at the time the card was mailed), my parents, and my grandmother (in India at the time the card was mailed).
“Hey,” I said that night on the phone. “I got your card.”
“Happy Birthday!” greeted my mother.
“It’s next week. The 21st. Like you have in the card.”
“I know,” she said. “We got your card when we got your brother’s.” His birthday was in July. “It was just sitting on the kitchen table, and we wanted to send it before we forgot about it.” I waited as she and my father hotly debated whether to change the channel. “I’m working on my visa application for India,” she continued.
For months now, ever since our planned June trip got canceled because of an early monsoon season, we’ve been talking about taking a trip to India. What was originally just my mother visiting her mother became me and my mother and then me and my parents and then all three of us visiting more than just my mother’s mother. The problem with being from a foreign country is that whenever you go back, you inevitably spend your entire vacation in other people’s houses. This time, we were planning to take some extra days to travel around to some of India’s most famous sites so that I could take pictures.
“Oh, good. I need to request mine at some point.”
“We’re going in October.”
“Wait, what?” Ever since we decided to reschedule, the plan has always been for the three of us to go in January. “I can’t go in October. It’s short notice for me to get that much time off from work. And even if I could, that’s in the thick of race season.” Between them, October and November have the Twin Cities, Chicago, Marine Corps, New York, and Philadelphia marathons, as well as the Knickerbocker 60K. “There’s no way I could go in October.”
“Mm hmm.” She paused, almost out of politeness. “We’re going to go in October.”
Onto the game…
Despite the dominant performance of “Leg of God” K John Kasay last week (2-for-2), there were still doubters out there with questions about the rest of the team. Can it run an offense without WR Steve Smith? Can they put pressure on quarterbacks?
Those questions were answered with a resounding “Yes!” last Sunday by Super Bowl favorites, America’s Team, the Tar Heel Terror Squad, your CAROLINA PANTHERS, at the expense of the hapless Vikings! In front of a pasty crowd of Minnesotans, the most complete team in the NFL went to work with clockwork precision, trading field goals with the Vikes to trail 6-3 in the second. By Odin! The Vikings defense was tenacious? Approaching the half, what could our protagonists possibly do?
QB Jake Delhomme went to the sidelines. And dialed ‘H’…for Hero.
WR Keyshawn Johnson with an amazing catch and a 40-yard run! Like the hammer of Thor, Panthers pressing on offense! 3-yard run by rookie RB Deangelo “Brown Sugar” Williams for a TD! Panthers up 10-6!
You know how, occasionally in life, you and a colleague can miscommunicate? Take, for example, something as simple as Rosh Hashannah seder this past Friday. Friday afternoon, I was walking with one of our senior legal assistants, Greg, to happy hour.
“Pretty dead around here,” I noted. “One Jew holiday and this whole place clears out.”
“Yeah, a lot of people left this afternoon.”
“Why is that exactly?” I asked. I waved my keycard in front of the door and held it open for him.
“Thanks. I think they have to be indoors by sundown.”
We walked down the stairs to the café in silence.
“You’re thinking of vampires,” I said.
With the Panthers up 13-6 in the fourth, the wily John Fox went aggressive, calling for a trick play. On the kickoff reception, CB Chris Gamble was supposed to pitch it back to CB Richard Marshall, but an errant toss gave the Vikings favorable field position! Touchdown, Vikings!
In overtime, the Vikings kicked a field goal to win. But the real story of the game was the phenomenal play of DE Julius Peppers. With five (!) sacks and a blocked field goal, the Vikings had no answer for the Obsidian Dervish, and were lucky to leave the game without being beaten more badly than they were!
Next week: With the winner of Atlanta-New Orleans taking a 3-0 lead in the NFC South, the loser of the Carolina-Tampa Bay matchup is likely out of the playoffs this year. Last time they were down there, Panthers cheerleaders got drunk in a bar, punched a local in the face, had sex with each other in a bathroom stall, and ended up facing criminal charges. Not unlike this past week’s game, where the Panthers’ smashmouth style was undone by their screwing themselves over. Prediction? The NFL’s first-ever 100-point game!
Panthers 103, Tampa Bay 26
Until next time.
RROWRRRRRRRR!
posted by Panther fan at 3:09 PM
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