Week 19: Glory Road
I'm going to skip the intro and cut right to the post-game analysis by the second biggest football fan in the household, my mother, delivered two minutes after the game ended.
Mom: "We're going to Seattle!"
Me: "I know, can you believe it?"
Mom: "That Steve Smith, no one can catch him!...he's so fast...and so short...that Groxman [Ed: Rex Grossman] needs more practice..."
Dad (in background): "When do I get to talk?"
Mom: "...I thought when it was only two or three points that Chicago would win, but that Del Hom [Ed: my mother believes every syllable in the name 'Jake Delhomme' deserves equal emphasis] brought them back!...here, talk to Daddy."
Me: "Okay."
Mom: "Oh, and one more thing."
Me: "Yes?"
Mom: "Those Patriots are junk."
Random weekend thoughts:
Second Most Retarded Football Commentary
Joe Buck: "A HUGE three-and-out for the Bears [defense]!"
Time? Less than four minutes into the first quarter.
Most Retarded Football Commentary
CBS Broadcaster: "...when Pittsburgh jumped out to a seemingly omnipotent 14-0 lead..."
Most Brokeback Moment
Shot of Delhomme talking with coaches on sideline
Aikman: "He's a beauty, isn't he? All smiles."
Just once, and I'm not saying all the time, but just once, don't you wish you could have a day like Jack Bauer?
After the Steelers sacked Manning at the 2 with under three minutes to play, I called and left Mike a vm. "Congratulations, man!" I told him. "I can't believe the Steelers won!" Then I go into the other room and check my email. I come out and Peyton is throwing a touchdown pass to Reggie Wayne, and I'm just standing there with a dumbfounded, Steve Bartman-like expression. Not as bad, though, as the Panthers-Pats Super Bowl two years ago. During halftime, I whipped up a fresh round of drinks for the room. "Who wants margaritas?" I sang. Silence. No one was even looking in my direction. I tried again. "Who wants...Pantheritas?!!" Again, nothing. Everyone looked shellshocked. I came around the kitchen to see what
everyone was staring at.
Dave: "Was that...Janet Jackson's boob?"
I can understand why Fox could only get B- and C-list stars for "Skating With Celebrities," but who the hell is this skater 'Tai Babylonia'? You're telling me they couldn't come up six legit skaters with name recognition without trying to foist onto us a woman who is clearly either a stripper or a porn star ("Saving Ryan's Privates" starring 'Tai Babylonia'!)?
Onto the game. . .
In their previous outing, the Chicago Bears had drubbed the mighty Panthers, 13-3. QB Jake Delhomme had been sacked eight times. And now they were fielding a quarterback who could create even more threats on offense. They were playing at home. On one week's rest. No chance, said the experts. How can the Panthers possibly prevail?
It took WR Steve Smith exactly two plays to answer that question! On the second play of the game, the Cajun Hannibal, QB Jake Delhomme arced a high one to Smith, who ran it past three of Chicago's vaunted defenders for the touchdown! Barely a minute gone by, and the Panthers are up 7-0!
Tremendous punting by P Jason Baker kept pinning the Bears deep within their own territory, and Chicago's masterful play-calling ("Just keep throwing the ball as far as you can, and let's see how it plays out"), combined with lights-out defense from the Growling Wall kept the Bears scoreless for most of the first half. (This despite a dubious bit of officiating robbing DE Julius Peppers of a clear INT runback for a TD, but, all in all, it was an abysmal weekend for NFL officiating.)
To understand how ferocious Carolina was during the first half, you needed to watch Baker. On one play, he punted _and_ busted the wedge on the Bears' return team! According to Dr. Timothy Gay, author of "The Physics of Football," wedgebusters (the guys who run full-speed and break up the blocking wall on a punt return) hit a 3-man wall at a speed of about 10 yards/sec and feel a force on contact of about 2,400 pounds. According to Gay, that's the equivalent of "what he'd feel if he did a bellyflop onto a boardwalk from a height of 20 feet." And this is by a guy who expects to get hit during a season about as often as Latrell Sprewell's coach.
But then a strange thing happened. Grossman, with his rifle of an arm and well-plucked eyebrows, grew gradually more confident, leading the Bears on a referee-aided TD drive. By halftime, the score was 16-7, but the crowd was roaring, and the tide seemed to have turned.
(btw, don't you wish you could listen to whatever Kyle Orton would say to him whenever Grossman went to the sidelines? "Hey, you know that thing you did where the ball actually got to the receiver? That was pretty cool. Can you spot me twenty bucks?")
By the time Grossman brought them to within two in the third, it seemed as if the prognosticators had been right all along. Perhaps this wasn't the Panthers' day after all.
Two words: Steve Smith.
Delhomme to Smith in single coverage! Thirty-nine yards for a touchdown! Panthers up 23-14! But the Bears hung on. After RB DeShaun Foster went out with a broken ankle, the game turned into an offensive shootout, touchdowns trading back and forth. With less than five minutes to play, Bears down by eight, Grossman was leading a game-tying drive when--interception! Interception by the unheralded--you know, I really can't keep calling CB Ken
Lucas unheralded now that cnnsi.com ranked him the second biggest impact free agent acquisition last offseason (behind WR Plaxico Burress of the Giants). So let me say this--it's nice to see my man get some well-deserved props. Interception by Lucas! Minutes later, it's over! Smith finished with a career day, 12 catches for 218 yards, 4th all-time in the playoffs! Panthers advance to the NFC Championship game for the third time in their 11-year history!
Reader mail feature:
From Robin, wife of Steelers fan Mike Y., regarding Mike on Sunday:
"There was a lot of yelling, throwing things, and conspiracy theories."
From Kelly H., in Scituate, MA:
"The Rulon Gardner-John Kitna comparison is so accurate, it's frightening...am studying for the Mass Bar...and all the teachers are the same....I will now light myself on fire."
Onto Seattle. The extra week of playing has caught up with the Panthers in the form of injuries. Foster, showing the resilience of IKEA furniture, is out with a broken ankle. Peppers separated his shoulder. DT Kindal Moorehead (DT Brenston Buckner's relief) is questionable. On the other
hand, one of the Seahawk defensive linemen, who celebrated Sunday night by punching his girlfriend, is out of jail and will be playing. And their running back, Shaun Alexander (kind of a minor-media-market version of Tiki Barber), who was severely concussed on Saturday and currently has the mental acuity of Radio, will be playing on Sunday. Where's the cosmic justice in that?
But here's the difference-maker. Lucas will want to have a monster day against his former team. I don't necessarily expect Carolina's CBs to make interceptions, Hasselbeck's a terrific QB. But Lucas and CB Chris Gamble are good enough to stay in single coverage, freeing up the safeties to play closer to the line of scrimmage. Look for big plays from S Marlon McCree
and S Mike Minter. Panthers advance to the Super Bowl.
Until next time.
Rrowrrr!
Mom: "We're going to Seattle!"
Me: "I know, can you believe it?"
Mom: "That Steve Smith, no one can catch him!...he's so fast...and so short...that Groxman [Ed: Rex Grossman] needs more practice..."
Dad (in background): "When do I get to talk?"
Mom: "...I thought when it was only two or three points that Chicago would win, but that Del Hom [Ed: my mother believes every syllable in the name 'Jake Delhomme' deserves equal emphasis] brought them back!...here, talk to Daddy."
Me: "Okay."
Mom: "Oh, and one more thing."
Me: "Yes?"
Mom: "Those Patriots are junk."
Random weekend thoughts:
Second Most Retarded Football Commentary
Joe Buck: "A HUGE three-and-out for the Bears [defense]!"
Time? Less than four minutes into the first quarter.
Most Retarded Football Commentary
CBS Broadcaster: "...when Pittsburgh jumped out to a seemingly omnipotent 14-0 lead..."
Most Brokeback Moment
Shot of Delhomme talking with coaches on sideline
Aikman: "He's a beauty, isn't he? All smiles."
Just once, and I'm not saying all the time, but just once, don't you wish you could have a day like Jack Bauer?
After the Steelers sacked Manning at the 2 with under three minutes to play, I called and left Mike a vm. "Congratulations, man!" I told him. "I can't believe the Steelers won!" Then I go into the other room and check my email. I come out and Peyton is throwing a touchdown pass to Reggie Wayne, and I'm just standing there with a dumbfounded, Steve Bartman-like expression. Not as bad, though, as the Panthers-Pats Super Bowl two years ago. During halftime, I whipped up a fresh round of drinks for the room. "Who wants margaritas?" I sang. Silence. No one was even looking in my direction. I tried again. "Who wants...Pantheritas?!!" Again, nothing. Everyone looked shellshocked. I came around the kitchen to see what
everyone was staring at.
Dave: "Was that...Janet Jackson's boob?"
I can understand why Fox could only get B- and C-list stars for "Skating With Celebrities," but who the hell is this skater 'Tai Babylonia'? You're telling me they couldn't come up six legit skaters with name recognition without trying to foist onto us a woman who is clearly either a stripper or a porn star ("Saving Ryan's Privates" starring 'Tai Babylonia'!)?
Onto the game. . .
In their previous outing, the Chicago Bears had drubbed the mighty Panthers, 13-3. QB Jake Delhomme had been sacked eight times. And now they were fielding a quarterback who could create even more threats on offense. They were playing at home. On one week's rest. No chance, said the experts. How can the Panthers possibly prevail?
It took WR Steve Smith exactly two plays to answer that question! On the second play of the game, the Cajun Hannibal, QB Jake Delhomme arced a high one to Smith, who ran it past three of Chicago's vaunted defenders for the touchdown! Barely a minute gone by, and the Panthers are up 7-0!
Tremendous punting by P Jason Baker kept pinning the Bears deep within their own territory, and Chicago's masterful play-calling ("Just keep throwing the ball as far as you can, and let's see how it plays out"), combined with lights-out defense from the Growling Wall kept the Bears scoreless for most of the first half. (This despite a dubious bit of officiating robbing DE Julius Peppers of a clear INT runback for a TD, but, all in all, it was an abysmal weekend for NFL officiating.)
To understand how ferocious Carolina was during the first half, you needed to watch Baker. On one play, he punted _and_ busted the wedge on the Bears' return team! According to Dr. Timothy Gay, author of "The Physics of Football," wedgebusters (the guys who run full-speed and break up the blocking wall on a punt return) hit a 3-man wall at a speed of about 10 yards/sec and feel a force on contact of about 2,400 pounds. According to Gay, that's the equivalent of "what he'd feel if he did a bellyflop onto a boardwalk from a height of 20 feet." And this is by a guy who expects to get hit during a season about as often as Latrell Sprewell's coach.
But then a strange thing happened. Grossman, with his rifle of an arm and well-plucked eyebrows, grew gradually more confident, leading the Bears on a referee-aided TD drive. By halftime, the score was 16-7, but the crowd was roaring, and the tide seemed to have turned.
(btw, don't you wish you could listen to whatever Kyle Orton would say to him whenever Grossman went to the sidelines? "Hey, you know that thing you did where the ball actually got to the receiver? That was pretty cool. Can you spot me twenty bucks?")
By the time Grossman brought them to within two in the third, it seemed as if the prognosticators had been right all along. Perhaps this wasn't the Panthers' day after all.
Two words: Steve Smith.
Delhomme to Smith in single coverage! Thirty-nine yards for a touchdown! Panthers up 23-14! But the Bears hung on. After RB DeShaun Foster went out with a broken ankle, the game turned into an offensive shootout, touchdowns trading back and forth. With less than five minutes to play, Bears down by eight, Grossman was leading a game-tying drive when--interception! Interception by the unheralded--you know, I really can't keep calling CB Ken
Lucas unheralded now that cnnsi.com ranked him the second biggest impact free agent acquisition last offseason (behind WR Plaxico Burress of the Giants). So let me say this--it's nice to see my man get some well-deserved props. Interception by Lucas! Minutes later, it's over! Smith finished with a career day, 12 catches for 218 yards, 4th all-time in the playoffs! Panthers advance to the NFC Championship game for the third time in their 11-year history!
Reader mail feature:
From Robin, wife of Steelers fan Mike Y., regarding Mike on Sunday:
"There was a lot of yelling, throwing things, and conspiracy theories."
From Kelly H., in Scituate, MA:
"The Rulon Gardner-John Kitna comparison is so accurate, it's frightening...am studying for the Mass Bar...and all the teachers are the same....I will now light myself on fire."
Onto Seattle. The extra week of playing has caught up with the Panthers in the form of injuries. Foster, showing the resilience of IKEA furniture, is out with a broken ankle. Peppers separated his shoulder. DT Kindal Moorehead (DT Brenston Buckner's relief) is questionable. On the other
hand, one of the Seahawk defensive linemen, who celebrated Sunday night by punching his girlfriend, is out of jail and will be playing. And their running back, Shaun Alexander (kind of a minor-media-market version of Tiki Barber), who was severely concussed on Saturday and currently has the mental acuity of Radio, will be playing on Sunday. Where's the cosmic justice in that?
But here's the difference-maker. Lucas will want to have a monster day against his former team. I don't necessarily expect Carolina's CBs to make interceptions, Hasselbeck's a terrific QB. But Lucas and CB Chris Gamble are good enough to stay in single coverage, freeing up the safeties to play closer to the line of scrimmage. Look for big plays from S Marlon McCree
and S Mike Minter. Panthers advance to the Super Bowl.
Until next time.
Rrowrrr!
posted by Panther fan at 4:33 PM
1 Comments:
Hi there Panther fan, nice blog here! I am looking for Fantasy Football blogs, but yours stood out to me despite really having nothing to do with Fantasy Football stuff. Seems like a lot of people enjoy your Week 19: Glory Road blog and I will bookmark you! Thanks...
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