Week 10: Smash the Line
From all indications, Wednesday was supposed to be an extraordinary day. Marathon's world record holder (and 2005 NYC champsion) Paul Tergat was visiting the World Bank as a guest of the Kenyan embassy, and a girl in one of my track clubs offered to get me in.
You should go, Mary told me. Challenge him to a race.
I was going to do either that or follow him around the building, offering him "tips" on running the NYC marathon.
I got to the World Bank about half an hour after his reception started. Went to the atrium. No Paul Tergat! "Excuse me," I said to one of the guards. "I'm looking for the event for Paul Tergat?"
Guard: "Straight downstairs. Retirement party, right?"
Anant: "No. Thin black man."
Guard: "Oh. Sorry. Can't help you out."
I paced the length of the atrium. Where in the World Bank was Paul Tergat? Perhaps he was stretching by the cafeteria, or cooling down by the water fountain. I asked a random black man in the atrium if he was there for Paul Tergat. He was not.
I went to the Information desk. "Hi, I'm here for Paul Tergat?"
"Is he expecting you?"
"Not really."
"Do you have his extension?"
For an information desk, she was asking a lot of questions.
"He doesn't work here."
She looked at me. I looked at her. She tried to pretend she didn't think I was a complete dumbass.
It turned out that the Kenyan Ambassador was taking him on a tour of the building. I had too much work pending to wait, so, alas, my wait for Tergat was all for naught. But, I'm not too disappointed. As Kwame said,
"Forget Tergat! He is one bad marathon away from selling fake gucci bags in Times Square."
Meanwhile. . .
Tell Bob Griese to pour out the champagne! Tell Larry Csonka to hold his vowels! The '72 Dolphins are no longer the only undefeated team in football! The Boston Bruisers, your ANDOVER BLUE rolled over rival Exeter, 24-8, in their most dominant victory in their 125-year football rivalry, finishing the regular season at 8-0!
The motto? "Non sibi." The meaning? "Not for self." It's our school motto as well as our philosophy on allocating whoop-ass. Fan reaction was unrestrained and intense.
From Brian B. in NYC:
"Pls set yourself on fire. . ."
From Matt B. in SF:
"Hey, in the attached picture, isn't that you in the front row in your 'ghoul' costume?"
On to the game. . .
Last week, the most dangerous team in football, the New York Jets, traveled into the heart of Tobacco Country to light it up with the Tar Heel Terror Squad, the most complete team in the history of organized sports, your CAROLINA PANTHERS! Against odds so great, could even the gutsy underdog Panthers prevail?
The first quarter was all Cat. The Cajun Hannibal, Jake Delhomme, marched the Blue Swarm downfield, arcing a beautiful 19-yd TD pass to WR Keary Colbert. Panthers up 7-0! Brooks Bollinger, continuing the tradition of shitty-QBs-with-Brooks-in-their-name, matched a second quarter FG to take the Jets into halftime down by a touchdown, 10-3.
Coming out of the locker room, the Jets looked re-energized, Bollinger ready to make more passes than Joe Namath after his third highball. How could the Panthers prevail? With the Growling Wall, that's how! Midway through a heart-stopping 0-0 third quarter, the vaunted Carolina defense took over. Observe: Bollinger pass to Laeavearnaaueas Coles intercepted by the most underappreciated free agent signing of the offseason, CB Ken Lucas. Touchback! Next Jets possession: Same QB. Same receiver. Another interception by Lucas! RB Stephen Davis touchdown! Panthers the most complete team in football! Next Jets possession. Smashmouth tackle by Ricky Manning results in a fumble. We had them at hello! Next Jets possession. Bollinger to McCareins intercepted by CB Chris Gamble! McCareins' head weighs eight pounds! John Kasay FG! Panthers win 30-3!
Next week:
It's the most highly-anticipated matchup in football. The tradition. The history. The tailgating. The cramming for finals. It's the 122nd Game, pitting the mighty Yale Bulldogs (4-5, 4-2 Ivy) against the Harvard Crimson (6-3, 4-2 Ivy) for the H-Y-P crown, the Ivy League championship, and a shot at immortality. Sing with me!
Oh when the sons of Eli break through the line
That is the sound we hail!
Bulldogs, Bulldogs, bow wow wow
E-li Yale!
Until next time.
Rrowrrr!
You should go, Mary told me. Challenge him to a race.
I was going to do either that or follow him around the building, offering him "tips" on running the NYC marathon.
I got to the World Bank about half an hour after his reception started. Went to the atrium. No Paul Tergat! "Excuse me," I said to one of the guards. "I'm looking for the event for Paul Tergat?"
Guard: "Straight downstairs. Retirement party, right?"
Anant: "No. Thin black man."
Guard: "Oh. Sorry. Can't help you out."
I paced the length of the atrium. Where in the World Bank was Paul Tergat? Perhaps he was stretching by the cafeteria, or cooling down by the water fountain. I asked a random black man in the atrium if he was there for Paul Tergat. He was not.
I went to the Information desk. "Hi, I'm here for Paul Tergat?"
"Is he expecting you?"
"Not really."
"Do you have his extension?"
For an information desk, she was asking a lot of questions.
"He doesn't work here."
She looked at me. I looked at her. She tried to pretend she didn't think I was a complete dumbass.
It turned out that the Kenyan Ambassador was taking him on a tour of the building. I had too much work pending to wait, so, alas, my wait for Tergat was all for naught. But, I'm not too disappointed. As Kwame said,
"Forget Tergat! He is one bad marathon away from selling fake gucci bags in Times Square."
Meanwhile. . .
Tell Bob Griese to pour out the champagne! Tell Larry Csonka to hold his vowels! The '72 Dolphins are no longer the only undefeated team in football! The Boston Bruisers, your ANDOVER BLUE rolled over rival Exeter, 24-8, in their most dominant victory in their 125-year football rivalry, finishing the regular season at 8-0!
The motto? "Non sibi." The meaning? "Not for self." It's our school motto as well as our philosophy on allocating whoop-ass. Fan reaction was unrestrained and intense.
From Brian B. in NYC:
"Pls set yourself on fire. . ."
From Matt B. in SF:
"Hey, in the attached picture, isn't that you in the front row in your 'ghoul' costume?"
On to the game. . .
Last week, the most dangerous team in football, the New York Jets, traveled into the heart of Tobacco Country to light it up with the Tar Heel Terror Squad, the most complete team in the history of organized sports, your CAROLINA PANTHERS! Against odds so great, could even the gutsy underdog Panthers prevail?
The first quarter was all Cat. The Cajun Hannibal, Jake Delhomme, marched the Blue Swarm downfield, arcing a beautiful 19-yd TD pass to WR Keary Colbert. Panthers up 7-0! Brooks Bollinger, continuing the tradition of shitty-QBs-with-Brooks-in-their-name, matched a second quarter FG to take the Jets into halftime down by a touchdown, 10-3.
Coming out of the locker room, the Jets looked re-energized, Bollinger ready to make more passes than Joe Namath after his third highball. How could the Panthers prevail? With the Growling Wall, that's how! Midway through a heart-stopping 0-0 third quarter, the vaunted Carolina defense took over. Observe: Bollinger pass to Laeavearnaaueas Coles intercepted by the most underappreciated free agent signing of the offseason, CB Ken Lucas. Touchback! Next Jets possession: Same QB. Same receiver. Another interception by Lucas! RB Stephen Davis touchdown! Panthers the most complete team in football! Next Jets possession. Smashmouth tackle by Ricky Manning results in a fumble. We had them at hello! Next Jets possession. Bollinger to McCareins intercepted by CB Chris Gamble! McCareins' head weighs eight pounds! John Kasay FG! Panthers win 30-3!
Next week:
It's the most highly-anticipated matchup in football. The tradition. The history. The tailgating. The cramming for finals. It's the 122nd Game, pitting the mighty Yale Bulldogs (4-5, 4-2 Ivy) against the Harvard Crimson (6-3, 4-2 Ivy) for the H-Y-P crown, the Ivy League championship, and a shot at immortality. Sing with me!
Oh when the sons of Eli break through the line
That is the sound we hail!
Bulldogs, Bulldogs, bow wow wow
E-li Yale!
Until next time.
Rrowrrr!
posted by Panther fan at 8:46 AM
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