Week 4: Into the Blue
I was in line at Macy’s buying socks, stuck behind one of those couples that continually find new and creative ways to gum up your basic cash-for-goods transaction. I’d been waiting a while, not terribly long but long enough. Just as my turn was coming up, I spied a wall rack of Calvin Klein boxer briefs on sale, the kind I’d considered buying for a while.
"Sir?" said a saleslady after I had moved out of line. "I can take you over here." I’m sure I looked the part of a customer irate with the length of the queue.
"That’s okay," I told her. "I’m just going to look at this for a while."
She registered an odd expression before moving onto the next customer. As I turned my attention back to the wall of bulging men’s crotches, I realized that I could have framed that more artfully. . .
On Saturday night, I went to a Washington Capitols exhibition game. For those of you who've never been to a hockey game, stare at the wall in front of you for a few minutes. Got it? Okay, it's like that, but more boring.
The best thing about the MCI Arena is that after a ref blows his whistle, and you're sitting there waiting through the break in the action, the scoreboard will say, in big-ass letters, "A PENALTY HAS BEEN CALLED." It's like watching a silent film.
Onto the game. . .
The legendary Brett Favre. The Green Bay Packers. Grown men wearing yellow packing foam on their heads. All traveled down to face the bright lights of Monday night in Charlotte, home of America's team, the 2003 NFC Champions, your Carolina Panthers! Favre, sporting his "I'm-cool-enough-to-wear-sideburns-the-size-of-potholders" look, led the opening drive. How effective were the Packers against the Growling Wall? First down: no gain on the run. Second down: incomplete pass. Third down: sack by DE Mike "It's the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" Rucker! Delhomme to Mangum, Panthers up by a TD in two minutes! Capacity crowd on its feet, the terrible towels are out (or, as we call them in the Carolinas, "Rebel Rousers")!
Favre led the Packers on a scoring drive to tie it up. But the second quarter was all Tar Heel Terror Squad! 3 points by Kasay! A TD (and blocked point after) pass from Delhomme! Another touchdown! Meanwhile, on USA, Ric Flair has a guy who looks like Sideshow Bob in a figure-four! What a great night to be a Carolinian!
(best thing about Ericsson: hearing seventy thousand people shout "HOOOOOOOOOOV!" whenever RB Brad Hoover touches the ball)
By the beginning of the fourth, it was Carolina 32, GB 13. The brilliant John Fox, fearful of risking injury to his Magnificent Seven, wisely toned back the front pressure, giving Favre more time to throw and giving the Carolina secondary a chance to get in the game. A coach who wants to let his offense recuperate by keeping the other offense on the field? Genius. But a coach who rests the front half of his defense while they're on the field? Da Vinci. In the waning minutes, the Packers pulled to within a FG. But ultimately, they had to pack it in. A Brett Favre Monday night moment? Not in my town.
Closing thoughts: CB Ken Lucas (formerly of the Seahawks) may have been one of the best unheralded acquisitions of the offseason. Anyone who saw Robert Ferguson come down with the football while being covered by Lucas, only to have Lucas physically _rip_ it out of his hands for a pick before Ferguson had even taken his third step knows what I'm talking about.
Reader mail feature:
Brian B. in NYC writes:
"I don't mean to split hairs, but the panthers' 'clinic' in miami was, technically speaking, a loss. But don't listen to me. I'm bitter about the bills losing to the freaking saints."
How can you hate on the Saints? Haven't you bought into the NFL hype machine? Listen to Tom Jackson:
TJ: "Watching the Saints play reinvigorates the people of New Orleans, I think."
Yes, Tom. That and permanent housing.
Next week, the mighty Panthers continue their march to the Super Bowl through the red-breasted robins of Arizona.
Until next time.
RROWRRR!
"Sir?" said a saleslady after I had moved out of line. "I can take you over here." I’m sure I looked the part of a customer irate with the length of the queue.
"That’s okay," I told her. "I’m just going to look at this for a while."
She registered an odd expression before moving onto the next customer. As I turned my attention back to the wall of bulging men’s crotches, I realized that I could have framed that more artfully. . .
On Saturday night, I went to a Washington Capitols exhibition game. For those of you who've never been to a hockey game, stare at the wall in front of you for a few minutes. Got it? Okay, it's like that, but more boring.
The best thing about the MCI Arena is that after a ref blows his whistle, and you're sitting there waiting through the break in the action, the scoreboard will say, in big-ass letters, "A PENALTY HAS BEEN CALLED." It's like watching a silent film.
Onto the game. . .
The legendary Brett Favre. The Green Bay Packers. Grown men wearing yellow packing foam on their heads. All traveled down to face the bright lights of Monday night in Charlotte, home of America's team, the 2003 NFC Champions, your Carolina Panthers! Favre, sporting his "I'm-cool-enough-to-wear-sideburns-the-size-of-potholders" look, led the opening drive. How effective were the Packers against the Growling Wall? First down: no gain on the run. Second down: incomplete pass. Third down: sack by DE Mike "It's the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" Rucker! Delhomme to Mangum, Panthers up by a TD in two minutes! Capacity crowd on its feet, the terrible towels are out (or, as we call them in the Carolinas, "Rebel Rousers")!
Favre led the Packers on a scoring drive to tie it up. But the second quarter was all Tar Heel Terror Squad! 3 points by Kasay! A TD (and blocked point after) pass from Delhomme! Another touchdown! Meanwhile, on USA, Ric Flair has a guy who looks like Sideshow Bob in a figure-four! What a great night to be a Carolinian!
(best thing about Ericsson: hearing seventy thousand people shout "HOOOOOOOOOOV!" whenever RB Brad Hoover touches the ball)
By the beginning of the fourth, it was Carolina 32, GB 13. The brilliant John Fox, fearful of risking injury to his Magnificent Seven, wisely toned back the front pressure, giving Favre more time to throw and giving the Carolina secondary a chance to get in the game. A coach who wants to let his offense recuperate by keeping the other offense on the field? Genius. But a coach who rests the front half of his defense while they're on the field? Da Vinci. In the waning minutes, the Packers pulled to within a FG. But ultimately, they had to pack it in. A Brett Favre Monday night moment? Not in my town.
Closing thoughts: CB Ken Lucas (formerly of the Seahawks) may have been one of the best unheralded acquisitions of the offseason. Anyone who saw Robert Ferguson come down with the football while being covered by Lucas, only to have Lucas physically _rip_ it out of his hands for a pick before Ferguson had even taken his third step knows what I'm talking about.
Reader mail feature:
Brian B. in NYC writes:
"I don't mean to split hairs, but the panthers' 'clinic' in miami was, technically speaking, a loss. But don't listen to me. I'm bitter about the bills losing to the freaking saints."
How can you hate on the Saints? Haven't you bought into the NFL hype machine? Listen to Tom Jackson:
TJ: "Watching the Saints play reinvigorates the people of New Orleans, I think."
Yes, Tom. That and permanent housing.
Next week, the mighty Panthers continue their march to the Super Bowl through the red-breasted robins of Arizona.
Until next time.
RROWRRR!
posted by Panther fan at 11:11 PM
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