Week 1: Here Comes the Rain Again

Let me be upfront with you: I don't but into New Orleans as America's team. I don't. Despite the NFL hype machine going into overdrive, I just don't. Before the storm even hit, their organization had made arrangements for them to practice in San Antonio. They'll be able to play their home games in either Louisiana or the stadium in which they practice all week. These are guys making six or seven figures, doing exactly what they love doing, in a new town. They're just not suffering hardship, folks. It's like hoping Brittany Spears' next album will do well because that will somehow bring a ray of hope into the lives of destitute Orleaniques everywhere. They are as much "American heroes" as O.J. Simpson was declared to be when his scandal broke.

But this was the team rolling into North Carolina on Sunday, NFL hype machine preceding it, and the orders from the Commish were clear: whatever you do, make sure the Saints win their opener and their Monday nighter. This will be a ratings bonanza.

The fans packing Ericsson stadium donated $200,000 on the spot to the relief effort. Two hundred thousand dollars! That's what I love about Carolinians. Carolina fans help out a person in need. Pats fans stab them. (http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/14/students.stabbed.ap/index.html).

The Panthers observed a moment of silence in honor of Katrina's victims, during which the Saints put up a touchdown. Then it was all business. Delhomme to a rejuvenated Steve Smith--touchdown Carolina! Tie ball game. Saints take the lead in the second. Meanwhile, Stephen Davis was having a monster game in his return. Having Stephen Davis and Deshaun Foster both healthy and running well is like that morning you wake up and realize you have free HBO. You don't know how you got it, you know you're going to enjoy it, but you're not really expecting it to last very long.

Saints went up a TD in the second, but at the end of the first half, Steve Smith for a TD! Was the Saints' fairy tale coming to an end? Not if the NFL had anything to say about it. Referees rule he was out of bounds. Unfazed, Delhomme lines up again after a couple of plays and nails Steve Smith _again_ in the end zone for a TD! Tie ball game! But wait! Illegal touch pass, TD nullified! Going into halftime, Saints lead. Leading MVP candidate? The referees.

With the prayers of a city and the eyes of a nation resting upon them, the courageous Carolina Panthers battled back during the second half. Down 20-14 at the top of the fourth, the inspiring Panthers overcame adversity not once but twice, scoring two field goals to tie it with just over a minute remaining! With some hurried instructions from the booth, the referees threw a couple of penalties onto Carolina to advance the Saints up the field. With seven seconds left, Carney boots it through, and America's Charlatans steal their first of two victories.

By the way, for you fantasy-ers, the Correll Buckhalter award goes to Pro Bowl Carolina DT Kris Jenkins, out for the second consecutive season, this time with a torn ACL. Names being bandied about as his replacement include ex-FEMA director Michael Brown. Because no one stops forward progress like Michael Brown.

Reader mail feature:

From Brian B.:

"the ivy league credentials / football ratio in this blog is troublingly high...and another thing: who the hell is yaghmour? that is all."

As we used to say at the prestigious Phillips Academy, on the nose, old boy! For the benefit of my readers in New York and Tokyo, I'll try to keep local friend references to a minimum. To answer your question, a "Yaghmour" is another name for the Missing Link.

This Sunday, the peerless Pats roll into Ericsson. Everyone's expecting a walk-over. So did Custer.

Until next time.

RROWRRRRR!