Week 14: The Panther, the Buc, and the WarZone
Once a year, my father goes up to New York City for a five-day medical conference, and once a year, I trek up to the Ground Zero of bad tipping to spend a Christmas weekend in Manhattan with him.
With the ice storm, my 9:30 flight was delayed two hours, such that it was two o'clock in the morning when he, bleary-eyed, let me into his hotel room. I chatted with him as I unpacked my overnight bag into a dresser drawer that doubled as a secret stash of soaps and shampoo bottles he was hiding from the maid service. Sorry I'm late, I apologized. When I left my message, I
thought I was coming in on the 9:30.
We talked about the conference (going well), my work (busy), and New York (anything you want, anytime you want). "You know," I said by way of illustration, "there's a diner across the street from this hotel. We could get breakfast there anytime we wanted."
"Are you hungry?"
"No, I ate at the airport."
"Because I missed my dinner waiting for you."
"Oh, I'm--" that didn't make any sense. Had I made my original flight, I still would have arrived at midnight. I looked over at the phone on his bedside table.
"You have no idea what that flashing red light means, do you?"
"No, there's been something wrong with it since this afternoon."
Onto the game. . .
Random football note:
* How much do Chris Berman's daughter's friends hate going to her house, knowing her dad is going to call them by some lame nickname he came up with ten years ago?
This past weekend, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, led by the second-year out of the Blue Lagoon, Chris Simms, traveled to the Queen City to take on their arch-intra-division rivals. Whenever these two teams meet, the hits crunch harder, the passes spiral tighter, and Kavika Pittman gets his leg snapped. Last time they met, two Carolina Panthers had sex in a bathroom stall and
then beat the crap out of some Buccaneers fans. Needless to say, tension was running high. Every public bathroom stall had been outfitted with a video camera.
In a nailbiting epic, the Buccaneers, winless in their last five meetings, threw their enigmatic Cover 2 defense at Jake Delhomme. More mystifying than Nicole Ritchie's celebrity, the reads were too tough for even the Cajun Hannibal to get to his wide receivers. The Bucs ran Cadillac Williams up the center. Touchdown, Bucs! Like historic kings of yore, Delhomme risked life and limb to lead his team's comeback. Meanwhile, the Bucs did what the Bucs do best--cheap hit. Late hit from S Will Allen makes WR Steve Smith's whistle tips go wooh wooh! Back and forth the momentum pinballed, the fate of the NFC South in the balance. But despite their integrity, despite their valor, the heroic Panthers experienced one too many cheap hits to pull ahead. The Bucs squeaked out of Charlotte, 20-10!
Disheartening? Hardly. Consider it. Last week, the Panthers crushed the Atlanta Falcons, a team that had beaten them five times, by stunning them with mystifying defensive coverage and establishing a running game. This week, the Bucs, a team that had lost to the Panthers in their last five outings, finally beat them by. . .stunning them with mystifying defensive
coverage and establishing a running game. If this week proved anything, it's that the only team capable of beating the Carolina Panthers is. . .the Carolina Panthers.
They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
Reader mail feature:
FFH says,
"Dear Panther fan --- Nice blog! I was looking for Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets related info, but stopped for a minute when I found you blog! It is great! I am book-marking it and will come back! I haven't seem a blog quite like Week 13: DeShaun Also Rises! Anyway great blog, but no Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets info here I I am out! THanks..."
Who is FFH, you ask? Some auto-generated dickhead plugging a fantasy football site. This guy leaves multiple messages on my blog each week. Remember, my blog gets fewer eyeballs than a fat girl asking you to sign a petition. Yet check out his nine postings to Week 12(http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=11813620&postID=113353100150672471.
I encourage everyone to go to this guy's website and personally tell him know how much of a douchebag he is.
Next week:
The battle for the NFC South is on! 9-4 Bucs travel to New England, 9-4 Panthers travel to Baton Rouge to face the Saints, and the 8-5 Falcons travel to Soldiers Field in Chicago to take on the Bears!
Until next time.
Rrowrr!
With the ice storm, my 9:30 flight was delayed two hours, such that it was two o'clock in the morning when he, bleary-eyed, let me into his hotel room. I chatted with him as I unpacked my overnight bag into a dresser drawer that doubled as a secret stash of soaps and shampoo bottles he was hiding from the maid service. Sorry I'm late, I apologized. When I left my message, I
thought I was coming in on the 9:30.
We talked about the conference (going well), my work (busy), and New York (anything you want, anytime you want). "You know," I said by way of illustration, "there's a diner across the street from this hotel. We could get breakfast there anytime we wanted."
"Are you hungry?"
"No, I ate at the airport."
"Because I missed my dinner waiting for you."
"Oh, I'm--" that didn't make any sense. Had I made my original flight, I still would have arrived at midnight. I looked over at the phone on his bedside table.
"You have no idea what that flashing red light means, do you?"
"No, there's been something wrong with it since this afternoon."
Onto the game. . .
Random football note:
* How much do Chris Berman's daughter's friends hate going to her house, knowing her dad is going to call them by some lame nickname he came up with ten years ago?
This past weekend, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, led by the second-year out of the Blue Lagoon, Chris Simms, traveled to the Queen City to take on their arch-intra-division rivals. Whenever these two teams meet, the hits crunch harder, the passes spiral tighter, and Kavika Pittman gets his leg snapped. Last time they met, two Carolina Panthers had sex in a bathroom stall and
then beat the crap out of some Buccaneers fans. Needless to say, tension was running high. Every public bathroom stall had been outfitted with a video camera.
In a nailbiting epic, the Buccaneers, winless in their last five meetings, threw their enigmatic Cover 2 defense at Jake Delhomme. More mystifying than Nicole Ritchie's celebrity, the reads were too tough for even the Cajun Hannibal to get to his wide receivers. The Bucs ran Cadillac Williams up the center. Touchdown, Bucs! Like historic kings of yore, Delhomme risked life and limb to lead his team's comeback. Meanwhile, the Bucs did what the Bucs do best--cheap hit. Late hit from S Will Allen makes WR Steve Smith's whistle tips go wooh wooh! Back and forth the momentum pinballed, the fate of the NFC South in the balance. But despite their integrity, despite their valor, the heroic Panthers experienced one too many cheap hits to pull ahead. The Bucs squeaked out of Charlotte, 20-10!
Disheartening? Hardly. Consider it. Last week, the Panthers crushed the Atlanta Falcons, a team that had beaten them five times, by stunning them with mystifying defensive coverage and establishing a running game. This week, the Bucs, a team that had lost to the Panthers in their last five outings, finally beat them by. . .stunning them with mystifying defensive
coverage and establishing a running game. If this week proved anything, it's that the only team capable of beating the Carolina Panthers is. . .the Carolina Panthers.
They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
Reader mail feature:
FFH says,
"Dear Panther fan --- Nice blog! I was looking for Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets related info, but stopped for a minute when I found you blog! It is great! I am book-marking it and will come back! I haven't seem a blog quite like Week 13: DeShaun Also Rises! Anyway great blog, but no Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets info here I I am out! THanks..."
Who is FFH, you ask? Some auto-generated dickhead plugging a fantasy football site. This guy leaves multiple messages on my blog each week. Remember, my blog gets fewer eyeballs than a fat girl asking you to sign a petition. Yet check out his nine postings to Week 12(http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=11813620&postID=113353100150672471.
I encourage everyone to go to this guy's website and personally tell him know how much of a douchebag he is.
Next week:
The battle for the NFC South is on! 9-4 Bucs travel to New England, 9-4 Panthers travel to Baton Rouge to face the Saints, and the 8-5 Falcons travel to Soldiers Field in Chicago to take on the Bears!
Until next time.
Rrowrr!
posted by Panther fan at 11:48 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Panther fan - I was out searching for Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets related sites and stumbled across your blog. Week 14: The Panther, the Buc, and the WarZone is not exactly what I was looking for, but I still stayed and sniffed around a bit! Nice site! I am off to find Fantasy Football Cheat Sheets related stuff, but I will stop by again soon! Keep up the good work!
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