Week 11: No Pocket for Old Men

Last week, I made two predictions. Panthers 16, Packers 3 was the first. Yale 34, Harvard 20 was the second.

Let’s start with The Game. I thought Yale, as it had all (perfect) season, would ride phenom RB Mike McLeod to victory. In breaking down the game, I’d even said:

“Wide receivers: Who cares?! We have Mike McLeod!”


Apparently, someone at Harvard saw it the same way. The Cantabs stacked the box against the run, forcing Yale to rely on its passing game. QB Matt Polhemus was brilliant, connecting with a variety of receivers, regrettably many of them Harvard defenders. Harvard crushed Yale, 37-6.

My friend Katie emailed me about it later:

“Btw, did you cry when Harvard spanked Yale?”

My response:

“FIRST OF ALL, the game was much closer than the 37-0 score in the third would make it appear. Second of all, you shut up.”

Onto the game. . .

Although the Panthers had Vinny Testaverde steering its high-powered offense, the team was without WR Steve Smith (officially out with a shin injury; unofficially out researching workplace violence best practices). It was like being given Buckingham Palace without any electricity.

Green Bay scored its first touchdown off of a trick play. . .a Carolina trick play. “Leg of God” K John Kasay lined up for a fake FG, then punted it to obtain better field position. Green Bay ran it back 94 yards for a touchdown. Why didn’t it work? Maybe it was because the Packers had seen Carolina do it the previous week against Tennessee. Or maybe because Carolina only had ten men on the field. (Speaking of which, kudos to H Jason Baker. Holders have three responsibilities: call the ready for the snap, hold the ball, and make sure you have 11 men on the field. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Enjoy the CFL.)


The Packers went up 28-3 in the third. But talk about Testacular fortitude! Vinny led the Panthers right back into it, connecting with WR Drew Carter, Packers CB Charles Woodson, and TE Christian Fauria to put up two more scores. Ultimately, Packers squeaked by, 31-17.

In light of these disturbing results, I decided to go back and look at some of the other predictions I’ve made this year. Among them:

“If the Yankees should have blown the bank on anyone before the trade deadline, it’s Eric Gagne.”

“Liberals who claim that military autocrats cannot coexist with a fair and democratic society need look no further than Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf.”

“You can’t say enough about the brilliance of the major banks in pooling mortgage-backed securities in a way that virtually eliminates the risk for the average investor! With Moody’s and S&P as watchdogs, the system’s built-in safeguards are foolproof!”

“Once Congress and the American public become aware of the fact that we torture people in our custody, there will be riots in the streets. Performers who may be on tour at the time, such as Miley Cyrus, will be lucky to generate any sort of interest."


“David Chase has had nine years to think about an ending for The Sopranos, so you know it’s going to be phenomenal!”

“Every network that passed on the opportunity to run a surefire hit like ‘Cavemen’ will be kicking themselves come sweeps week.”

“If we want to bring our troops out of Iraq soon, we need a third party like moveon.org to begin a public education campaign.”

Random quote:

“Late in the third quarter, Testaverde threw a 2-yd pass to TE Christian Fauria, who launched into an enthusiastic end-zone celebration with his team trailing by three scores.”

- AP coverage of the Packers-Panthers game

Next week: America’s Team meets a struggling Saints team. Winner stays in the race with the Bucs for a playoff spot, loser starts looking ahead to next season.

Prediction: Pan – Actually. Just to be safe, New Orleans 24, Carolina 17.

Until next time.

RROWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!